How to Get a Good Breastfeeding Latch

Nobody mentions that natural and instinctive are two different words. The milk part mostly happens without instruction. Neither of you knows yet how a mouth is supposed to go on, and that gap is where the sore nipples live.

Sore nipples, a baby who keeps sliding off, feeds that turn into a wrestling match: the cause is nearly always the latch, and a latch is a skill rather than a talent. Most of it comes down to how wide that mouth is before it goes on, and to being willing to take the baby off and start the whole thing again.

What a good latch looks like

Your baby’s mouth should be wide open and cover a large part of the areola, not pursed around the nipple tip. A shallow, nipple-only latch is the number one cause of pain and slow milk transfer.

The mouth is open wide, like a yawn, before they go on.
The lips are flanged out, like little fish lips, not tucked in.
The chin presses into the breast and the nose is clear or barely touching.
More of the areola shows above the top lip than below the bottom.
You hear rhythmic sucking and swallowing, not clicking or smacking.

A deep latch is also what empties the breast properly, which is why a shallow one shows up later as a blocked duct or as feeds that take longer and move less milk than they should.

Step by step: getting a deep latch

Get comfortable first. Support your back and arms with pillows. A relaxed, slightly reclined position lets gravity help.
Line them up tummy to tummy. Your baby’s whole body faces you, ear, shoulder, and hip in a straight line, so they don’t have to turn their head to feed.
Nose to nipple. Position your nipple at their nose, not their mouth. This encourages them to tip their head back and open wide.
Wait for the wide open mouth. Brush the nipple on their upper lip and be patient. Don’t rush a half-open mouth.
Bring baby to breast, fast and close. Hug them in quickly when the mouth is at its widest, aiming the nipple toward the roof of the mouth.
Check and adjust. Chin tucked in, lips flanged, deep mouthful. If it pinches, you can fix it.

The step people skip is the fourth one. Waiting for the wide open mouth feels like an age when a baby is crying and you are both new at this, and it is the one most worth being slow about.

How to unlatch without the pain

If a latch feels wrong, don’t pull the baby straight off (ouch). Slide a clean finger into the corner of their mouth to break the suction first, then gently take them off and start over. It’s completely fine to relatch several times. You’re both learning.

Positions worth trying

Laid-back (biological nurturing). You recline, baby lies on your chest, gravity helps them latch deeply. Great for the early days.
Cross-cradle. Gives you lots of control over the head, helpful while you’re both learning.
Football hold (also called the rugby hold). Baby tucked under your arm, useful after a cesarean or with larger breasts.
Side-lying. Both of you lying down, a lifesaver for night feeds and recovery.

Give the same hold three or four feeds before you judge it, unless it hurts, in which case break the suction with a finger and start that feed again rather than sitting through it. Newborns feed 8 to 12 times a day, so a position gets plenty of chances, and one that felt awkward this morning is often the one that clicks at midnight.

If your nipples are sore

A little tenderness in the first week is common, but ongoing pain, cracking, or misshapen nipples after a feed (lipstick-shaped or pinched) almost always signal a shallow latch. Fixing the latch usually fixes the pain. In the meantime, a smear of your own breast milk or a lanolin cream can soothe, and letting your nipples air-dry helps. If you pump to rest a sore side, our best breast pumps roundup can point you to gentle options.

The hold that finally works is different for every pair of you, and it is often not the one you were shown in the hospital. If yours turned out to be the one you least expected, say which in the comments. The pamphlet teaches one of these four, and the other three are learned from other mothers.

Sore because it is new is one thing. Sore because something is wrong is another, and the line between the two is the next thing to read.

When to call your provider or a lactation consultant

Get help sooner rather than later if the pain doesn’t ease once your baby is latched, your nipples are cracked, bleeding, or blistered, or your baby struggles to stay on, makes clicking sounds, or seems unsatisfied after feeds. Also reach out if you notice a red, hot, painful area on your breast or feel feverish and achy, which can mean mastitis, or if your baby isn’t having enough wet diapers or gaining weight. An IBCLC lactation consultant can watch a full feed, check for things like tongue-tie, and make tweaks that change everything. Asking for help early is a sign you’re doing this well.

Medical disclaimer: This article is for general educational purposes only and is not medical advice. It does not replace care from a doctor, midwife, pediatrician, or lactation consultant. Always speak with a qualified healthcare professional about feeding, latch, or any health concern. If you think you or your baby may be experiencing a medical emergency, contact your local emergency services right away.

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